“How to tell your boyfriend you want to wait until marriage?” Some women are not comfortable saying her decision and this is the issue.
How to tell your boyfriend you want to wait until marriage?
Talking about ‘don’t want to have sex before married’ can be uncomfortable in some points. Maybe some women feel afraid to say her choice and decision, afraid that this could hurt her man, or afraid of rejection and some sort of it.
But if you have decided that you don’t want to have sex with anyone before marriage, then you gotta say it out load.
If you are waiting until marriage to have sex, here’s to tell:
1. Learn to Speak Up
The key is to speak up and motivate yourself to tell your partner about what you think about sex and relationship. After few dates when things are getting closer between you and him, try to talk about some deep value of life, love, and yes sex, and just about everything.
We know, talking about sex with our significant others can be weird sometimes. But this is important, right, and it’s possible to minimize the weirdness of that convo.
Also, most people have different thoughts about what is sex. For other people, sex can be just an oral sex, petting, penetration, or heavy physical touch. Tell him what you think about sex and ask him the same question too.
2. Don’t be Afraid
Why are you afraid? If this man is your significant other, you mustn’t be after to tell him what’s on your mind.
Be confident. Be conformable. Be straightforward for what you are standing for.
Decide to not have sex until marriage it’s not wrong. We know everyone has different perceptions about everything and yours is acceptable.
You may also read about What To Do If Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Want To Have Sex?
3. Just. Tell. Him.
How to tell your boyfriend you want to wait until marriage? Then just tell him.
“Babe, I grew up believing that I want to have sex after marriage, with my husband. Because….”
Explain to him the reasons why.
- If it’s about religious values.
- If it’s about family and cultural values.
- If you think sex without marriage is highly risky.
- To avoid STD.
- You are demisexsuality, only wanna have sex with someone after forming a deep and strong emotional connection.
Whatever your significant reasons are, tell him clearly. Learn to articulate yourself with confidence so he can understand the message.
4. When to tell him that you are waiting until marriage?
- Don’t tell him that after the first date.
First few dates might be great, but it doesn’t mean he is the right match for you. It doesn’t mean he is into you. At least, until he confesses love.
- Don’t tell him when you are already in bed with him.
That will cause misunderstanding and miscommunication.
Maybe this is the scenario:
You and him have been close for quite some time and he says he loves you and the two of you have been hanging out together. Then he invites you to his apartment. You have a great day until at night you are in bed with him. In that position, it’s risky to tell him that “wait, I don’t wanna have sex with you before marriage”
That feels like rejection to him. Because he thinks you are down for it.
So it’s better to give a better understanding about you before things heating up that way. That could be a few weeks or months after the two of you get together. Just after you know he is the one and before the spice gets in.
5. Don’t play dumb
Don’t act like he knows what’s on your mind without you telling him.
The two of you are grown adults. Hugging, cuddling, kissing, or any form of physical intimacy can lead into sex. The horny hormones are playing here.
Before you get into a strong and hot physical bonding with him, please tell him that you are waiting until marriage. Tell him all your boundaries.
You may also read about What to do when my boyfriend doesnt want sex as much as I do?
6. You can’t control others people mind
Please know that everyone is different. What you believe in life isn’t always what other people believe in.
You can’t control how your boyfriend responds to this. He might not have the same value as you. Maybe he wants sex before marriage, and that’s okay for him and doesn’t mean he is a bad guy.
If he chooses to be with someone else who is on the same page as him, let him be. You also chose someone else who believes the same things as you.
7. If he’s okay with it
That’s a good thing. That’s a blessing to finally find someone who fits with you.
Then, we learn each other’s love language. Find another intimate way that’s safe for the two of you.
You may also read about 10 Reason Why My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want Me Sexually Anymore (This Is What to Do!)
8. Leave the guy who doesn’t respect your boundaries
If your boyfriend try to cross your boundaries by always initiating sex with you when you said no, time to leave him.
If he forces you, makes fun of your decision, hurts you, makes you feel ashamed, or makes you feel guilty for choosing your value, it’s time to go.
I think that’s all about how to tell your boyfriend you want to wait until marriage. The key is to have confidence and strong will to tell and mean it.
In most Asian people I grew up with, having sex before marriage is a must and it’s easier to say no to a man to have sex. But then again, just stand up for your decision and mean it.
Indeed, have a good love life and may you be with someone who loves you like you supposed to be loved 🖤