After breaking up with a good one and you are wondering why can’t you be friends with an ex. Well, it’s gonna be so hard and weird to be friends again with someone you’ve always loved.
Here you gotta know why being friends with an ex doesn’t work on this article.
Why is being friends with an ex doesn’t work?
There’s a time in life when you really want to be friends again with an ex after the bad break up, just because you feel that she or he was a good person and you think you can still get along with them. The truth is, you can’t be friends with your ex. I mean, how’s it gonna be?
You used to love them, you used to kiss them, hug them, and give them all of your life. Now it’s all over. I bet you feel pain or still hold the feeling for them even when the story ends. That’s why you can’t be friends with your ex, as you need some space to heal yourself.
Here’s why being friends with an ex doesn’t work:
1. Honestly you can’t see ex as a friend
After the break up, mostly, you can’t even see your ex’s face or even name because that reminds you of all the memories. So, it’s hard to see them as a friend now, even though you started the relationship with them as a friend before.
You might still feel the sorrow or you still love them after the break up, both of the things hurt you anyway, so you can’t ever see them as a friend again normally. That doesn’t mean that you need to hate them or make your ex your enemy, but you just can’t and shouldn’t take them as a friend at least for now.
2. That’s gonna be awkward
You used to call them ‘baby’ or had a cute nickname for your ex, now you need to normalize calling them by their real name. You used to kiss them now you need to pretend that you never tasted those good lips.
And all the things you used to do together with them as a lover, now it’s nothing but friends. And all those memories and little secrets and everything. How awkward could it be now to still see the one you loved but as a friend now?
3. It’s hard to move on when you still see your ex around
You just broke up last month and now you wish to still be friends with her or him? Here’s the reason why being friends with an ex doesn’t work: You need to move on right now. If you are friends with your ex, it’s almost impossible to move on because you still see them around. You still talk to them and you still hang out with them. And maybe you want them back again so you are stuck with your ex in a bad way possible.
4. You are not gonna heal soon
Don’t trust an ex who said you can be friends with them after the break up. And if they do, that’s just gonna hurt you. You said you are breaking up in a good way so it’s easy being friends with an ex? But darling, it will just extend the pain.
After the break up, all you need to do is to heal yourself. You need to distance yourself from your ex or whoever hurt you. Let them be gone and don’t wish to be friends with them again, at least for now. That’s why is being friends with an ex doesn’t work.
5. That’s not gonna be a true friendship
Why is it hard to be friends with your ex? Because you can even sure if you can see your ex like you see your friend. Maybe you still see him as a lover.
If one of you is still stuck on the love story that’s ended, the friendship turns into an approach to get back together. On the other hand, if one of you still traumatized and hurt after the break up, the friendship with an ex just lead to some torture. In the bad situation like that, there’s nothing like a true friendship.
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6. You might fall in love with your ex again
Can you be friends with an ex you still love? No. Thank you.
The reason why being friends with an ex doesn’t work is because you might fall in love with them again. Or your ex falls back to you again. Or the two of you would get back together but could fall apart again in a second.
Your ex/friend talks to you, but who knows if you feel interested with them again. They care for you as a friend but maybe you think it’s a sign that he or she wants you back. Or it’s just magically, they become so good and cute and charming and you fall in love again because lately you talk to them “as a friend”.
7. But that’s just a false hope
You count your ex as a friend but what if they take things differently? Or reverse.
You’ve been talking to an ex lately, so good so smooth, and you think yes let’s get back together. Turns out, everything is just a false hope.
8. That’s gonna rekindle everything
Is it a bad idea to be friends with your ex? That’s depend, but mostly yes.
Talking to your ex again could rekindle everything that you two went through as a lover before. It will rekindle the emotional attachment, physical intimacy, the same old love, and everything.
As a result, you can’t move on from them, again it’s just a false hope, you feel hurt twice now, or worse you get back together but no one learned a thing.
9. Jealousy, Jealousy
The reason why being friends with an ex doesn’t work: you could feel jealous all the time with everyone your ex/friend being with. Now that your ex/friend tells you they are seeing somebody and you are wondering who and you hate the scene already. And then you wish you were still there, again you have moved on yet.
10. Also, it’s awkward for other people in your group of friends
You know, naturally friends being silly and they talk shits and they spill the tea, just to have fun. But they can’t do that or it’s awkward now.
Because that had seen you as a couple for months or years but now parting away but still trying to manage to be friends. One other friend might tease you and one friend makes fun of you, another friend tries not to, and everything about it is just so awkward.
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11. Could be so wrong if one of you still have the feeling
Okay, you are seeing your ex as a friend, but what if your ex wishes to get back together instead?
12. Rekindle that pain too
Reason why you can’t be friends with an ex is because that’s gonna remind you of the pain they put you through before. It will rekindle the resentment, the sorrow, the tears, that worst nights, and all the trauma you had from the relationship with that one ex.
13. That will be lies and distrustful
You should trust your friend and be honest to them, but I think you can’t do that with a friend that’s also an ex. It’s not like you are a liar but you just can’t tell them anything now. As you need to distance yourself from an ex but you consider them as a friend now, in the end it’s just confusing. That’s just why is being friends with an ex doesn’t work.
14. You will miss them as a lover again
Why being friends with an ex doesn’t work? Because you would miss them as a lover. You would want to hug them again, care for them like it was before, or you just miss them but you don’t want them back.
15. Bring back all the good memories
You would reminisce about the good old days when they were yours. You would have some nostalgic moments playing in the back of your mind when you are talking to your friend aka an ex.
16. Your current partner would feel bad about it
“Hey I’ll be home late. I am with John, my friend, but he was my ex too”. Naaaah so awkward right?
17. It will block you from potential future partner
If you’re staying friends with your ex, it might block you from potential partners. Like, what if your crush thinks the two of you are still together because you’ve been hanging together, so your ex stops his move to get close to you.
18. You can’t move on at all
You can’t be friends with your ex if you just broke up like two months ago. If that happens, I swear you can’t ever move on from them. You would still cling to their life with the false hope.
You may also wanna read about: 31 Ways to Move On from A Breakup (Do These Things!)
19. You need some time and space to heal from the break up so staying away with an ex is a must
That’s the whole point. Write that down. That’s why can’t you be friends with your ex.
20. You can be friends with an ex after 5-10 years when the true love concept is not relevant to them anymore
This is another level of being mature when you finally okay being friends with your ex. That’s possible but I think that’s only gonna happen a few years after you broke up with them.
When you finally move on, have a better life, maybe get married and have kids, at that point maybe you see your ex as a funny joke. And you know your ex also has moved on and got a better life.
That’s the reasons why you can’t be friends with your ex. But who knows, you know, everyone has a different version of the story. You might be okay being friends with an ex, that’s actually cool. You can’t be friends with your exes, I respect that too.
Just the most important thing is, you gotta heal yourself real soon after the break up. That’s another story on another page if you wanna or don’t want to be friends with your ex later.